September 2014

Great News…

Written September 7th @ 8:10am

Happy Sunday Morning,

I am sorry it has taken me a few days to update Crystal’s Story. I did put her update out there on FaceBook and sometimes I do forget that there are many people who do not do that type of social media. I needed a few days to enjoy the news and not talk about it but I have received your emails of concern through her website and caring bridge, we are so blessed that so many have reached out.

Here is the news…She is Cancer Free! No Chemo at this time! They found no new tumors! We get to live the next 3 months with a smile on our faces. We are extremely happy. Your prayers, your positive thoughts our working. Thank You.

I can tell you that a couple of weeks before Crystal’s appointment the worry set in. The mind begins to wonder. It’s hard to stay focused and it’s hard to get out of bed. Crystal was not the only one with that feeling but somehow, someway you push through it.

I had asked Crystal how she was feeling. In her words, “ I feel fine mom but I felt fine last time and I wasn’t. Mom, I don’t know if I can do that Liver Ablation again. It was so hard but I guess if I have to.” I agreed with Crystal. We will always fight. We have to. But in the back of my mind I was thinking honey, I hope that if it does come back, that we have the option to do it. Because see sometimes when the Cancer comes back there is nothing they can do. That is why Cancer Research is so very important.

A lot of you have asked me, “How do you not think about it?” Actually, I think you always do but personally, I try to ignore it. I try everything in my power to think of something else. I am always doing something or planning something. I try daily to give the worry to God. To the ones that don’t believe in him, I don’t judge but goodness it sure makes you feel better when you feel like you can give it to someone else. And trust me, that takes work somedays.

As for the appointments go on that September 3rd day, it was very nerve racking. However, I love the Mayo Clinic. I love how organized, professional and kind everyone is. But when you are there it is so hard to not walk around and think back to the feelings you had when you were there previously, it can make you so sad. An example would be as simple as the waiting room when we first were at Mayo and learning more about her Cancer. The waiting rooms are large and they are so quiet. They have magazine, puzzles and a few computers. I remember feeling overwhelmed and didn’t know how to reach out to everyone that was contacting me so I sat at a computer in the waiting room and started her caring bridge page. I remember the tears just ran down my face.

On this visit, I saw the computer and couldn’t look at it. I would stare in the waiting room, thinking about everyone else’s journey in that room and being Thankful that Crystal was right next to me. Being Thankful that I knew where my daughters were at that moment. That I would take this Cancer over my daughters being abducted any day. The things you worry about as a parent never ends.

I remember my leg was shaking. I couldn’t stop it. I just wanted the answers now. Crystal was smiling yet we all were very quiet. When her name was called to go back into the doctors office your heart races faster. We all get into this little room and sit right on the couch, just like 4 peas in a pod, Crystal, Gage, Rod and I. We wait just a few minutes more.

The door opens, your heart jumps, you begin to sweat, you don’t even know if you are breathing and then the tall doctor walks in, Dr. Rubin. And without making us wait anymore, he tells us the good news. We smile, we laugh, we begin to talk….Life is good.

Dr. Rubin says at this time we will see you in December.

As I drove home and everyone was sound asleep in the car, I found myself thinking what will happen in December before the Holidays…And then I thought I need to enjoy the present. The news we just got. This moment. So, I turned the music up and began to think of dance.

I am staring out my kitchen window at this moment, I reflect on how beautiful the weather was yesterday, what will it be like today? Enjoy your week and Thank You for touching my life.

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