Thank You, Thank You…
Written December 7th @ 9:45am
Another wonderful blessing the Kuehl Family received, Crystal is Cancer Free! We are going to have a wonderful holiday!
At the Mayo in Rochester, MN early in the morning doing tests.
This 3 month check-up was extremely hard for Crystal. See even though the appointments are three months apart…the nerves and the build up begins about three weeks before the visit.
Crystal had said, “Mom, I think this is the worse one for me. I can’t sleep, I seem to have anxiety over it. I just want to know if it is there, if it is back and if I can beat it again. I feel sick and all I want to do is cry.” But like I explained to Crystal, none of us know our journey. And honestly would you really want to? I wouldn’t want to know when my last day is…or would I? Scary just to think about it. Crystal’s thought process for a 22 year old is very different than most.
Crystal was not feeling the greatest before this 3 month check either. Her lymph nodes were enlarged by her ears which always makes you start wondering. Trying to leave the worry in God’s hands can be very difficult and exhausting. And when you go to the doctors to get checked, you are comforted to the best they can. But hearing from the doctor that you are a miracle and this cancer is not curable, can make you just completely depressed and leaving you wanting to go back to bed.
We left that appointment on that Wednesday afternoon, Anna on the Professional Team was celebrating her 21st birthday. As we were driving to the studio, I looked over at Crystal, I could tell she was sad, I said, “Crystal it’s going to be alright.” Her chin wrinkled up and the tears began. It was so heartbreaking. It was devastating. I really didn’t even know what to say.
All Crystal wanted to do was go home. As a mom, I knew going home she would just dwell on it, I asked her to stay at the studio. Enjoy practice, a good workout, the team and Anna’s birthday. I must say it was the best form of medicine and I am so happy she stayed.
A lot of you wonder how you keep so positive. Well, in a strange way it’s almost like I am just numb to it. Like it’s not really happening. You push forward by not thinking about it. It’s like the moment it comes into your head, you immediately think of something else, so you don’t have to think about it. I can’t even explain, maybe it’s a defense mechanism.
Like we promised Crystal, we would go Rochester, MN a day early. You could tell Crystal was very happy about that. She was in a better mood, more relaxed and seem to embrace the next morning with more ease then trying to leave at 3am like we usually do.
Her blood work tests started at 6:00am. After her morning of tests, we got some breakfast and decided to head back to our hotel room to take a nap. Perfect idea but about 45 minutes into it. Crystal’s phone rings and it was Mayo, they would like to see her at 1pm, Oh goodness that is much earlier than scheduled and so the mind begins to wonder. Is it a good thing or bad thing?
Getting the phone call early & heading to the appointment.
As we walked to the appointment I was behind Crystal and Gage. I took a photo of them both walking. What you didn’t see was the hand holding, the smiles they gave each other, the bumping into each other which made them giggle. And all I could think was in about 20 minutes our lives could all drastically change.
Sitting in that waiting room, it seemed very warm. Crystal’s name was called so fast. Walking into the doctors office, it seems so quiet, so still and we wait again. When the door opens you jump. Here comes Dr. Ruben, Crystal’s oncology doctor who is retiring at the end of December. What news does he have? Does he look happy? Is he going to tell us something good?
He has great news…her blood work looks great and there is no signs of anything new in her scans! I cannot begin to tell you the emotion. I can’t even describe it. You feel so happy, lucky, blessed and very thankful. You want to tell everybody….
What I can tell you is that the next day, with work & some of us having school Rod, Cassidy, Courtney, Crystal and I all overslept. None of us could even hear the alarms…I guess none of us have been sleeping very good. Sometimes you don’t even realize you are that stressed.
Crystal Marie…our Hero!
Merry Christmas to you all. Thank you for your kind words, prayers, gifts and taking time to share your stories with me. I am grateful. I am thankful.
Crystal with one of her doctors from her team, Dr. Ruben…one of our hero’s!
Dr. Ruben, Thank You for everything you have done for my daughter. Cheers to your new journey and we will never forget you.
Quote for the day: The Best is yet to Come. Don’t allow your life to become Dull. Keep dreaming, hoping & Planning. ~ Joel Osteen
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