February 2021

Words from our fighter…

Written on Wednesday, February 17th @ 3:45pm

My courageous fighter, my inspiration, my daughter…I am ready to dance and fight this with you!

Crystal wrote: I have taken this last week to really process the information I just received at the Mayo Clinic. For those of you that don’t know… my cancer has grown and I now have 4 tumors in my liver & 3 tumors in my lungs. I will be starting chemotherapy again in the next week or two. I have read every single message & I am so blessed that I have all of you in my life. So THANK YOU for all your uplifting messages. Every morning I write what I am grateful for… and every morning I always put my family, friends, my prayer warriors and my healthy body… as well as many other things. My body might be struggling with cancer currently but it doesn’t mean it is not healthy. I am still able to do all the things I want and need to do in life. And for that I am grateful… and always will be. So for my next exciting adventure I think it is time to start putting together this next Spirit Show… to not only inspire me, but to also inspire those watching! Everyone has a journey & it’s our job as humans to spread positivity & be kind to everyone around you. Please remember that… Again thank you & let’s do this thing! 💜💪🏼

Never give up, Never give in.

Written on Wednesday, February 10th @ 6:45pm

Thank you all for your prayers, your messages and positive vibes. It has taken me over two hours to come up with the words of wisdom for this post. I guess the words I choose will be, “It can always be worse”.

Crystal & Gage arrived at Mayo early this morning. When I received my text that they had arrived and that the roads were good, I thought, well one prayer has already been answered.

She met with her team of doctors today at 3:05pm to go over her tests…My heart began to race about 3:45pm, knowing my call would be coming soon. Then my phone rang at 4:18pm. I could hear it in her calm voice. Well mom, it is not the news we wanted to hear.

The positives, her lungs look good. Where they operated on in October looks great. Even her blood work is looking good. But her liver. The few spots in her liver that they have been watching have decided to grow. 4 tumors to be exact. Chemo will begin immediately. They want to try to keep the cancer at bay and not to continue to have them spread and grow. These 4 tumors are in spots of the liver that they could reach surgically as time comes but first we have to slow it down, not let them spread. They are still waiting for one more scan to come back but for now we have a plan.

Cancer is a Courageous Battle. A constant fight emotionally and physically.

As I ask her, have you been crying, you sound muffled? She said, it is my mask mom. And mom, there is NO “Weak Bitch Moments” and we laugh. This is a quote from Monday’s The Bachelor Show. I must say as much as the show has been hard for me to watch (I am not a fan), that did make us laugh.

She will be meeting with her oncology doctor here in Cedar Rapids already tomorrow. So I guess now we begin the next step.

But for now, she wants to drive home, take it all in and call me again when she gets home so she asks mom, will you call the family? Of course.

Scratch That…Scratch That!!!!

At 6:10pm…About to post the update, Crystal & Gage call. Her doctor called to let her know that the last scan did finally come back as they are driving home. And she learns that we again, have spots in her lungs. They maybe small but they can see that it is the cancer. Chemo is her option. We need to get ahead of it.

Crystal is sad, looking for guidance and positivity. Covid Sucks! Telling the news over the phone, Sucks! Trying to find God when you are scared and mad, Sucks! Mom, I will call dad and my sisters later after I get home. For now, I’m trying to be positive.

I must say I am pretty quiet.

So for now….Let us just take a moment as a family and take in this news that is extremely exhausting. Crystal Marie Barnett, Courtney Kiburz, Cassidy Kuehl, Gage Barnett, Alec Kiburz, Rod and I thank you for this time.

Today is World Cancer Day!

Written on Thursday, February 4th 2021 @ 5:00pm

What a perfect day for an update, on World Cancer Day. It is a cold, snowy, windy, actually an extremely windy day here in Iowa. Sitting in the kitchen, drinking some tea, trying to look out the window but the windows are covered with snow, and I think to myself, I really don’t want to shovel again.

I have enjoyed listening to some music from the past, Neil Diamond & Eddie Money are my choices for today. Music is a beautiful thing, it literally can take you back to a time in your life, and just for a moment take you away from the present. Not saying all memories are wonderful but it reminds you what you have lived through as well. Now let’s see, where to begin?

Can you believe that Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years have flown by since my last update. Crazy to think how time just keeps moving forward and as I get older, it seems to be going faster. I hope your holidays were wonderful. I’m sure they were different with the pandemic but I hope you found a way to make them memorable, and found the good in them being a little different. I know we did. Matter of fact, I have never heard Crystal laugh, giggle and enjoy Christmas as much as she did this year. A memory I know our family will never forget.

How is Crystal, our fighter doing? I think she is emotionally and physically doing really well. Crystal also has been doing a lot of her own reading on the vaccine. She has her doctor here, her team of doctors in Rochester, her family, her friends and takes everyones thoughts into consideration and then does her own investigating. I am proud of her. I trust her. I trust our path. Will she get the shot? She will learn more next week on that, when she is in Rochester. However, Crystal plans to get the shot when she can and if they say she can.

Crystal’s next appointment is Wednesday, February 10th. Is she scared? Well, sure she wants to hear good news but is fearful that she will not. She also knows, whatever the news she will have to accept and move forward. Please send positive vibes and prayers that day…We live by them. Thank You in advance.

Is Crystal dancing? Well, no. We are doing are best to stay safe and we are hoping that in April we are back to dancing. I can tell you that this is the longest I have ever gone since 1993 without dancing and I even had two children in that time frame. It is amazing what you take for granted. You think that you are not going to take things for granted anymore since you have a daughter fighting Stage 4 Cancer but you do. I guess just like when you pray to God and say you will never ask for anything else if you can just have this, and funny, it is like I am always asking for just one more thing with him.

I can tell you Crystal has been very excited about becoming and auntie. Her free time is about planning a drive-by baby shower, meeting Hazel Marie in April, and taking one day at a time. However, she is a little obsessed with Animal Crossing.  

As some of you have struggled this year with all of the changes in our world, the worry of what is next and the fear of being judged on something you think or say, you are not alone. And honestly all we can do is keep our faith and trust our path. And that doesn’t come easy, it is a daily morning task that Crystal & I do. Our morning chats help us remember what is important.