Guess what tomorrow is?
Written on Monday, May 10th @ 4:40pm
Well first off I hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I hope you mothers felt loved. I hope your expectations of the day were meant. And to the mothers who are new, to the great grandmothers who can’t believe how fast life has gone by, the fathers who play the roll of a mother and the mothers that are smiling down at their children from heaven…You are appreciated, you are thought of. As challenging as it is to be a mother, a good mother, it is also extremely exhausting. ((Hugs))
So tomorrow there is a beautiful fighter who turns 29. Yes, 29. And they all said she wouldn’t be here at 23. What a blessing it is, what a miracle she is. Thank You God for answering our prayers. Happy 29th Birthday Crystal and I can’t wait to celebrate YOU tomorrow night, no matter what.
And so also tomorrow, Crystal is at Mayo. Yes, her 3 month check up is already here, and it is on her birthday. She will have a day of tests, a day of scans, a visit from her team of doctors and she will then learn the news of her next step.
Crystal has done three rounds of chemo, you ask how she is? Well again, she looks great, her attitude is so up lifting. When she feels ill, she listens to her body and fakes it. She believes in positivity, she believes in goals, she believes that no one can have it all and she believes that Hazel is here to change our lives.
I would love for another miracle. I would love that the 7 tumors would just be gone. I would love that Crystal could hear the words “cancer free”. I would give anything to let her just enjoy life with no worries, just one more time. But realistically I know what we are up against too. So for now, please let there be no change. Just 7 tumors that have remained the same, or even shrunk a little bit. If we could hear those words tomorrow, I would again feel like our prayers are being answered. God, I am so tired, I am so tired please hear our prayers.
I can’t believe it has been three months since I last updated you. And in three months we sure have lived. One month ago today, I lost my father and 5 days after that, I became a grandma. Needless to say my emotions are all over the place. I maybe lost right now but I know God will see me through it and will put the right people in my life to help me.
To the woman that I bumped into recently that asked about our family. You spoke such kind words of our families strength, the inspiration you get from our family from this journal and how you can feel what I am saying, that sometimes you think I am speaking to you through my writing. Thank You for taking the time to say that, isn’t it funny how God works. I am no writer but I do write truthfully on how I feel. I am sure you were surprised to see me begin to cry. I think God knew I needed to hear that even if it was from a stranger but yet maybe you needed to see that we are just a family that works on being a family every day. It doesn’t just happen, you have to work on it and it is exhausting and rewarding at the same time. I thank you for having the courage to approach me and I hope you could feel how much I needed it too.
As for tomorrow…We sure will take those birthday prayers! We sure will take those positive vibes. We sure will take those beautiful messages, kind words and energy to help our family through yet another exhausting journey.
Happy Birthday Crystal!
Writing on Tuesday, May 11th @ 4:30pm
It is a beautiful day in Iowa, and Crystal stated it was a beautiful day in Minnesota too. Now for the news…
I am sitting in my bedroom, the sun is shining brightly into my window, I keep looking at the clock. My heart seems like it has been racing all day. I know it is busy today at Mayo so the appointment could be running behind. I am trying to talk to God, but then yet I get distracted and think, thank goodness for our prayer warriors. They’ve got my back, right?
And then my phone rings, actually sooner than I thought it should have. It is Gage’s phone number? Why is it from his phone? Oh my gosh, it is FaceTime to boot. Is there something wrong? Do I need to hear or see something? My heart races faster, and I answer it.
And there they are. Crystal and Gage, showing me the beautiful tulips, Crystals favorite flower. I stated the appointment seemed to go fast…And with a smile on her face, she says it did. And mom, nothing has changed. The chemo seems to be working. And mom, one of my tumors in my lungs got a little smaller. So for my next step I will do another three months of chemo.
Needless to say the three of are smiling. We are thankful. Blessed. And God, thank you for answering the prayers but now I sure hope you hear the thankful prayers too.
Crystal was off to call her dad, her sisters, and her grandmother. And tonight, we will celebrate.
On another note, Gage was so sweet. As she went into her MRI that seemed to take longer than usual, Gage got one of her gifts ready for her to open for when she came back out of the room. It was a thoughtful surprise. I could tell when she called me earlier today, that no matter the news, she is making the most of her day, and that Gage is making her feel so special. As a mother, that thoughtful surprise makes me cry happy tears.
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