June 2022

Tomorrow begins the new treatment…

Written Wednesday, June 29th

This last weekend was wonderful celebrating her little sisters Bachelorette Party, and on my TimeHop I see that 6 years ago we were doing the same thing only Crystal’s Bachelorette Party. Back then I would think I just want Crystal to experience at least one of her sisters getting married, and what a blessing that she will have been a part of both of them after next Friday. It’s a gift, but goodness don’t we always want more.A lot of you think Crystal has already started her treatment, she actually gets her first infusion tomorrow afternoon. She will do one infusion a month for three months, then it will be her appointment at Mayo to see if it is working.Crystal sure could use some prayers for strength. If we could fill her up with positivity and hopeful thoughts it sure would help with all the emotions.Crystal physically is doing well but mentally/emotionally she has struggled. As a mother trying to give her positive words, focus on a wedding and continuing to look for the good is exhausting. Life sure has its highs and lows. And as Crystal’s says to me, “Mom, thank you for always showing me to live, to plan, to trust. Because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have the memories I have”.As they say, don’t wait for everything to be perfect to enjoy your life…We all know nothing is perfect.

We are home…

Written on Tuesday, June 14th @ 7pm

Not the news we wanted to hear but we have a plan.

Crystal at dinner last night said, I can’t even remember the last time I had an appointment and just got good news. I wonder what year that was. It’s been a long time.Since our last visit to Mayo two months ago, with the successful procedure that got the 4 tumors out of her liver, Crystal now appears to have 2 new little tumors back in her liver. And one of her lesions in her lungs has grown. We had to make a decision today about a treatment as we need to stay ahead of the cancer.Crystal, Dr. McWilliams and her team of doctors have decided to try hormone therapy. It is not as harsh as Chemotherapy, it is something she has never tried and they would like to see if it will work for her. She will be with Dr. Wilbur here in Cedar Rapids for this form of treatment. Dr. Wilbur has been her oncology doctor here at home when she has done chemo. The treatment will be either the Lanreotide or Sandostatin infusion. They will check her in three months and if it does not work, she maybe a candidate for Lutathera but we have to try this first.I will be honest, I am disappointed, exhausted and could scream but that helps no one. I was just saying to Crystal that after 9 years, I just feel like I am going through the motions when I am here. But the minute they call your name to come back you can’t help but feel your heart jumping out of your chest. Crystal says, me to mom. It is so exhausting just waiting, wondering, guessing and all the while keeping positive and remembering your faith. And then to think my beautiful daughter who is fighting to stay alive sure tears at the heart strings.I woke up this early morning at our hotel, thinking of a friend of mine whose young daughter suddenly passed away in a car accident. My heart hurt for them. I was thinking of life how beautiful and scary it is. The fear of not knowing, yet trusting. I thought God, this beautiful daughter has went home to be with you, yet their families life has changed drastically. They are good people, the parents are good people, they do good things, and their lives have stopped as everyone else’s continues to go on. I am sure they are just trying to catch their breath. My heart hurts for them. And then it was time for us to get ready to go to learn our news…And once we got the news of Crystal, I whispered to myself God give me strength, there is so much going on in my life right now, I don’t know how long I can keep a positive spin on things. And then immediately the thought of this family and their sudden loss of their daughter, made me realize, my daughter is still here. Stop complaining. We will learn more of Crystals next step in the next few days. So for now, we will continue to prepare for a beautiful wedding. One day at a time, just keep saying it to yourself.

Be still for a moment, the World can wait…

Written Sunday, June 12th @ 7pm

It has been a little crazy since the last time I updated you all. Crystal is doing well and we have been so busy that we have not even thought about this upcoming appointment. I think that is a good thing. 

Let’s see since the last time I updated, Crystal has recovered from her surgery, St. Patrick’s Day flew by, Hazel’s 1st Birthday happened, Easter was next, can’t forget Mother’s Day, and lots of birthday celebrations but the big one…Crystal turned 30!!! Yes our fighter turned 30, what a miracle. We have had many doctors tell us she may not see the age of 23 but here we are. And she celebrated in Las Vegas! With a performance to boot! As a neighbor said to me, “Celebrate Don’t Wait”. I must say that is so true and I have found that it is hard for many people to do. 

Right now we are blessed to help Cassidy and James plan their wedding day. July 8th, 2022 is almost here. With all of the planning, the wedding shower, parties you name it I reflect.

I remember in 2016 thanking God that our daughter Crystal had met someone who could make her heart feel complete. That she could experience that kind of love, have a wedding and feel the support that surrounded her. I felt so blessed that our family and friends could celebrate her during a very difficult but yet a happy time. But then as soon as that special day was over, I found myself asking God for another favor. Please keep her here for at least one of her sisters wedding so Crystal could feel the other side of it. Funny how we always want, want, want. 

I am reminded how precious time is, how blessed we are to have our own prayer warriors, and the 2016 prayers, well Crystal has gotten more than I had asked for. What a gift. What a gift for all of us. Now God, please make sure I don’t forget how lucky we are, you know we all do that sometimes down here.

As Crystal thought that she would not head to Mayo until after her sisters wedding, her doctors felt different. As sad as Crystal was about learning that there would have to be an appointment before the wedding, I immediately said to her, “Honey we know you have cancer, it is just learning the next step, it is okay to get the news. We will hear it, we will figure it out, we will embrace the moment, and we will enjoy a beautiful wedding in just a few weeks. One day at a time, just keep saying it”. With a smile, she says she is ready.

So tomorrow we head to Mayo for tests by Tuesday afternoon we will know if the cancer has spread, grown or remained the same. Please keep our family in your thoughts. We thank you in advance.