June 2016

We are blessed…

Written Thursday, June 23rd @ 10:30pm

What a gorgeous night in Iowa. As I am getting ready to call it an evening, I thought I would do a little update.

I am always posting on Facebook. So yes, if we are Facebook friends you see little updates on her. But when I get a message through her caring bridge, asking how did Crystal’s wedding shower go? I immediately remember not everybody has Facebook, I need to do an update and tell you how beautiful Crystal’s Wedding Shower was.

Early Sunday morning before the wedding shower it was Crystal’s “practice” make-up and hair style for her wedding day. She also had them practice on me, like a bridesmaid. It was a perfect time to do the “practice” because she would have a event that she would be looking beautiful for. Now keep in mind, the pictures you do see from the shower will not be the style on her wedding day…We have to keep you guessing. And by the way, I did cry watching her get all made up.

It was a sunny Sunday at the Coe College Alumni House. The food was delicious, the decorations were perfect. I need to do a shout out to Emily and Shirley. They helped Courtney and Cassidy with those beautiful decorations. And we cannot forget Katelynn for those stunning invitations. Everything went so smooth.

Courtney and Cassidy were very nervous but held it together perfectly. I did map out an itinerary for their day but honestly it was their choice to follow or not. I smiled as I watched them organize the party. I was proud. I was happy that the three of them had this day together. I felt blessed to be surrounded with such good friends willing to help.

And Crystal’s words, “It was the best day ever mom. I was so nervous. I could do a Spirit Show in front of a million people before I could do a shower.” I was very surprised by that remark because everyone in the room was family and friends.

I will tell you that day after her shower, I think I said it a million times to myself. Whether I was in the car alone or visiting with others. Thank you God. Thank you for giving her this day. Thank you for bringing all of her family and friends together. Thank you. I have watched my daughter battle this terrible disease for three years. I have watched what it has done to her, to her family, to her friends. I have cried many tears, have had sleepless nights, and seem to worry about everyone’s future to the point that I have a headache but there is good in this, I know for a fact, I appreciate this day, this moment more than if this Cancer never came into our lives.

Today, Crystal has been working on all of her shower thank you’s and has half of them done. YaY, because this weekend she will be getting ready for another party…Her Bachelorette Party!

On another note, in March Sky Zone in Cedar Rapids had reached out to us. They wanted to do a night for Crystal. The money raised would go to her medical expenses. At that time we had a lot going on, with Spring Break, then followed by her Mayo appointments, suppose to be following up with chemo but then jumped to a surgery, and then we had a Spirits trip.

As I finally got back to Sky Zone to thank them for the opportunity and to let them know that we appreciate the kind offer but the timing was really not working out. I explained that this last procedure they got the tumors. They were hoping that getting those tumors would give her a couple of years. With that being said, we are trying to plan her wedding. And if the tumors are gone right now. I feel funny having a fundraiser.

As Sky Zone said to me, don’t you have hotel expenses, gas, food besides the medical. Well, yes she does…every 2 to 3 months for the rest of her life. Sky Zone says let’s give her a night. So, I made a call to my niece Heather. Heather has ran every fundraiser for Crystal. Matter of fact, Heather and her husband Kevin, are the host and hostess at Crystal’s wedding.

So everyone, if you would love to come to Crystal’s Fundraiser at Sky Zone it is this coming Tuesday, June 28th 3:30pm-8pm!

The CR Spirits Dance Studio will be performing from 5:45pm-615pm. When you arrive you just have to say you are jumping for Crystal. A little exercise along with giggles = a fun night.

Jump at Sky Zone in Cedar Rapids on Tuesday June 28th between 3:30 pm- 8 pm and 30% of your Jump pass will be donated to help Crystal Kuehl who has beaten Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer 3 times! The battle continues and so do the medical bills. On Tuesday, Just tell the cashier that you are there to support Crystal. Bring your SkySocks or $2 to purchase new ones to keep and use again. All jumpers must sign an online waiver and can be done in advance at http://www.skyzone.com/cedarrapids/Online-Waiver/WaiverType/NoPaper There will also be a donation box for those just wishing to donate.

We hope to see you there…Crystal and I will be sitting at the table.

Wedding Shower Time…

Written Saturday, June 11th @ 3:30pm

I love how you all keep me on my toes. I have not forgotten any of you, it is just really busy with wedding plans.

I thought this post I would write a little different and answer the questions I have received through your messages from the last few weeks. Maybe you will see your question and then it should make you smile because you will see I do read your messages.

So here I go with answers to your questions…

What has Crystal been up to?
Since we last talked, Crystal had a wonderful time in Vegas with the CR Spirits. Thank you to the beautiful woman at Louis Vuitton, I know you are reading this. We felt like movie stars. It was breath taking to watch the Bellagio Water Show from the Louis Vuitton patio. The photos you took of the team were perfect for our memory book. The desserts were so delicious but almost to pretty to eat. We will never forget that night. The tears, the kind words we shared as a team we embraced. Thank You.
We went from feeling like a movie star to being a rock star. Thank you my dear friend from Mon Ami Gabi…dinner was unbelievable. You sure know how to make us feel important. See you in March at the Spirit Show! Yes, you are coming to Iowa!
Crystal also has been up to decorating her new home with Gage and of course the big one, planning her wedding.

How is Crystal doing?
Crystal is doing great. Her summer is busy and exciting. No time for Cancer. Crystal said to me, “Mom, I haven’t had a summer without something wrong with my health since 2012”. So I guess we can say there is no complaining here.
Now Crystal did have a week of being under the weather which of course alarmed her mother but Crystal felt it was just a bug.
We did take a long walk, like usual which was difficult for Crystal that week. As she said, “Mom, my body is not the same. It is so hard.” As she sat down to catch her breath. I could see it was very difficult for her to breathe, walk and stay positive. I smiled and told her, “It is a different body, you are missing somethings in there”. Crystal immediately says, “Mom my brain is not the same either. I don’t know what I would do without you helping plan my big day. I can’t stay focused, everything seems blurry. I don’t like it.” I must admit it broke my heart. As I was trying to figure out what to say and if I should find someone to pick us up. Crystal stood up and said let’s walk back. We hugged each other and I can say, we did it. We made it back home.
Crystal is pretty good at faking it but I give her the space she needs and just quietly pray to myself.

Has Crystal been back to the doctors?
Well, I think you should know me by now. If there was a doctors appointment, I would have been asking for prayers. It is like my ritual and I don’t think I could ever change it even if I wanted to. I think my heart would be heavy that I wouldn’t be getting the prayers that we would need and that could change everything for her, for us. So I am thankful for the opportunity to update her posts & Facebook for awareness but I will admit, sometimes it is exhausting thinking that way.

When does Crystal go back to the doctors?
They wanted to see her in June, however Crystal has decided to wait until August. Whatever news she would get, it would not change her wedding plans. If it was good news great but if it was bad news, there was nothing she was going to do until after the wedding. August will be the month for strength, positive vibes and prayers. But not forgetting to have a thankful heart for the beautiful summer we will have had with family and friends.

I am so happy for Crystal and Gage, we were hoping for a invite. Who did she all invite to their wedding, just curious? Is Crystal and Gage having a big wedding?
Oh how hard that guest list is for any wedding. You even get done and think goodness, we didn’t invite them or should we have invited them? It is crazy. You don’t want to leave anyone out. I am not offended by your remark, I was a little shocked though 🙂
Well, I guess I can say yes. As many of you know planning a wedding is fun and exciting but yet the guest list can be difficult. Rod and I have been married 26 years. We went to a small town high school and still have remained friends with many there. We both own our own businesses so we have made some wonderful friendships there. Besides the friends you make over the years, raising three daughters and becoming friends with their peers, we still have many family members. Then to top it off, you have a child fighting a terrible disease. You become very close to some of those prayer warriors but you know you can’t invite them all.
So that is where you say to the bride. Large wedding? Or a small intimate wedding? Do you want to invite only the people that you both personally know? And she says, “Mom, I want to feel like a princess. I want everyone to see I am happy. That I am normal. I am not sick. That I am thankful that they have prayed for me. And that I am getting married and they didn’t think I would be here at 23. Really mom, it’s whatever dad and you think. But I would love for a big party”. As Rod and I talk, it is their wedding day and we are so blessed she gets this day…Let the party begin! And we got a son!!

How is mom doing?
Mom, is doing good. I have only had a few little moments of tears, nerves, sleepless nights but there is so much to be thankful for. No complaining. And those moments that I have broken down, I happen to have been with some very close friends.

How is Rod and Crystal’s sisters, you have not wrote about them lately?
Rod is working harder than ever. Remember a year ago he had a pic line in with staph infection. Today, his ankle still aches at times, it does swell during the day because he is on his feet all day but he never complains. Rod is not on Facebook and is not really into social media. Crystal has asked him to speak at the wedding and he has said, your mom can do that. But I do tell him when people are asking about him and if he would like me to say anything…I think he hears me 🙂
As for Courtney, she is still at home and will be finishing up her dental program this December. She did get to travel with the team in May to Vegas and never dreamed she would of had as much fun as she did. As Courtney said to me, “Mom, I had a great time in Vegas. I guess I thought you weren’t exaggerating when you went. Thank you mom, for telling me I needed to go”.
As for Cassidy, she is loving her new job. Love Loves her new job. She has a cute little apartment. Cassidy works very hard and loves to help others. Life is good.

Do you and Rod ever fight? You write and not that I wish I had a daughter with Cancer but your family is so inspiring, I wish I had that.
Thank you. However, that is the most funniest question ever. We all have fights. We all are not perfect, not even that hero of ours. But we look for good. We don’t give up. We live full of hope. As a family, it takes work. Nothing is handed to you. And somedays I could scream but over all the troubles I have had in my life, they have made me who I am today. It has taking me 46 years to say that.
I love hearing from you all. Your prayers, your positive remarks, your stories, your thoughts. It is nice to not feel alone. But goodness I choose not to share negative stories. Negative thoughts breed negative people. The only people that would want to hear a story like that are usually the ones that love misery. I try to stay away from it. But if I ever write a book I am sure I will share a story or two.

Well, those were all of the questions I believe I received from the last month. I hope you got your answers and I hope you are enjoying your weekend. Tomorrow is a big day, it is Crystal’s Wedding Shower. Her first big wedding event. All of her family and friends coming together to embrace Gage and Crystal’s new journey. It is a happy time.

~Every love story is beautiful. But ours is my favorite.