January 2018

Bring on 2018!

Written on Tuesday, January 2nd @ 11pm

It’s a cold night in Iowa as I sit by the fireplace. My pj’s are on, the cozy slippers are working, a glass of cold water is in reach and little dog who wants to sit in my lap. I can’t believe it has been over 3 months since I last updated you on Crystal. I thought the new year would be a great time to share what she has been up to and how well she has been doing.

Plus, next Thursday, January 11th & Friday, January 12th we head to Mayo for her checkup so I thought this would be a great time to ask for prayers.

Now time to reflect on these last few months. Crazy how fast it has gone by, yet blessed to have had them. I felt guilty not updating you all on her journey but loved knowing that things were good and we could go back to a normal routine until the next big checkup.

Now let’s think back to what we have been doing. And maybe as you read about her life you can reflect on yours.

How was your Halloween? Crystal was a SuperHero, which we already know that she is one. Crystal was Wonder Woman! She had a great night, Crystal celebrated with family and friends. There is even a video of her dancing that night.

Shortly after that Crystal had not been feeling well and we learned that she had Bronchitis. The worry was it could change to pneumonia. The medicines and sleep began. With her asthma, bronchitis, headaches she thought, well might as well make an appointment with the dermatologist, something Gage and I have been wanting her to do for awhile now.

Surprisingly our dermatologist could get her in quickly. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I was suppose to go with Crystal and Gage but I thought, oh surely this would be an easy appointment. I asked Crystal if she wanted or needed me to go? I told her that I was sure it would be a quick appointment. Plus we love our doctor, so she would be in good hands. Crystal was completely fine with me not going, so I went with my mom while Crystal and Gage headed to the appointment.

See Crystal has long beautiful hair but for awhile now she has had a bald spot on the back of her head. You just can’t see it because of how long her hair is. And what was happening was it was growing, almost to the size of the palm of her hand. What she learned is with her immune system she has developed Alopecia. What I didn’t expect was the sound of her voice after her appointment. I knew she would call but I could tell she had been crying and was in shock.

I waited so patiently for her phone call since I knew what time the doctors visit was. So when she called and was like “Mom, I just got like 20 shots in my head. Cortisone shots, and a shot to make it stop the bleeding. It hurt so bad. Gage asked if he should hold my hand. I told him no because I think that would make me cry”. I first thought was she kidding, or exaggerating. But nope I learned that is what happened. Plus she would have to go back for more treatments in December and again in January after her Mayo appointment.

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t go to that appointment, I never dreamed that is what they would do. But yet she was in good hands and her husband was right there with her. The next day was Thanksgiving and her father is one heck of a cook. Her head was much better and we had food to eat.

Now we are in December, the Christmas shopping has begun. You know what is really special about the Christmas Shopping this year? Is watching my daughters find gifts for others. Gage and Cassidy are very good at coming up with ideas, thoughtful ideas. To listen to the girls get excited about what they found for someone or how happy this person is going to be to open this gift from them, made me smile. It’s nice to see how kind they are to give to others. It make my heart feel happy.

Her little sister turned 21, we all headed to Vegas. I remember saying to Cassidy, saying to her sisters. This trip is a blessing. It is a blessing that we get to go. It is a blessing that your family is all together. It is a blessing to make these memories. You may never get this chance again. And just like that those four days flew by. But those moments will last forever.

We return from Vegas…Crystal gets ready for her next treatment for her head. More shots. I think about doing an update but then think, embrace the holidays.Christmas was wonderful. This year Rod and I thought we would do gifts that were experiences. I did a shopping day with them. They got to go into a The Buckle, pick out an outfit from head to toe. The three of them. They laughed. They smiled. They built each other up. Courtney was in her element, Crystal was excited and Cassidy was shy at first. Here is a video you can watch from that day https://youtu.be/YgZxSSayglw

And the big gift/experience…March 9th, 2013 Crystal, age 20 goes with me to Chicago for the P!NK Concert. It was heartbreaking watching her pretend she was feeling good since we had no idea what was going on with her health. April 9th, 2013 Crystal has a major surgery to being the process of beating Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer, an aggressive form of Insulinoma Tumors. March 9th, 2018…5 years to the date. They said she wouldn’t be here but look she is. And, she will be going back with me to a P!NK concert! Only this time I’m taking her sisters with us!

New Years Eve, it was a cold one here in Iowa but we sure finished the year making memories.

Goodness, I must say I was reminded over the holidays of how fortunate we are to have Crystal still with us. I pray for the families that are suffering out there now and I do hear you. Cancer is ugly but it has also taught me to live, to stand up for myself. To embrace life. And trust me, somedays I forget to think like that but more importantly when I remember, I get back on that way of thinking.

Thank you again for all of the prayers and support. You have truly helped my family. Your faith, has helped grow mine.

A Thankful Heart

Written on Monday, January 16th @ 12:30pm

Oh yes it sure is a Happy New Year. What a perfect way to start off 2018.

Am I shocked? Sure, she is a miracle. Does that mean I am negative when we go? No, I am realistic. I’m prepared as much as I can be. Does Crystal think the way I do? Not the first time we went back to Mayo in the beginning. She had felt completely fine and the Cancer had come back, it was devastating and a shock to her. So now, mentally when we go to Mayo, she is prepared for her next steps whether the Cancer is back or not. As a mother, that can be heartbreaking at the same time to watch your daughter plan her life with the good and bad.

Our drive to Mayo was a little scary with the weather. Gage drove, which was nice for me but I felt bad for him. The last drive to Mayo, I drove. It was a scary foggy ride, my knuckles were white from hanging onto that steering wheel but Gage, he took it in stride and got us there and back home safely.

Her blood work, her scans all went to well. When she was getting ready to do her MRI, it was the first time, I asked her, if Gage and I could go get a coffee together and bring right back up. She was like mom, “I am fine. Yes, both of you can leave”. Well, I am just saying we have never left you alone here, like Gage will run and bring us back something to drink but this time, I thought we could go and come right back. She was like, “Mom, go”. So then Gage, said Crystal, “Is it okay if I go get something to drink”? hehehe I think she loves us and hates us at the same time.

The one thing that was a little different this time was Crystal would not look into her files. See when she gets her blood work done, we usually can peek at those before the doctor visit and even though we are not doctors, we always think if the blood work is good, that is a positive sign to start. This time she wanted nothing to do with looking at them prior. Which of course, I started thinking in my head, maybe she knows something is not right. Maybe she thinks it is back and doesn’t want to say anything. But I trusted her choice and waited with her.

Of course going into the waiting room, we are like following a mother duck. It never changes. The way we walk in, the way we sit, the worry, the scare. The room always looks the same, we try to come up with small talk, you listen to everything outside the room so closely. You can hear footsteps that you probably would never hear on a normal basis. However, this time we really could hear them because GAGE tapped his feet to the same walk as whomever was walking in the hallway. It was enough that even the nurse checking Crystal in laughed because we all thought it was that loud in the hallway and it here it was Gage. Laughter can sure break the tension.

When we learned that her blood work was good and her scans showed nothing new we were elated. I cried. Crystal cried. Gage was happy. The nurse said my word for you is “Fandarntastic”. So now she just had to do a body check. We are so happy, giggling and chatting, Crystal begins to talk about her, Alopecia. Explaining that she goes next week for more shots but it is looking better and feels better. When Crystal was then asked about her heart rate. If it has ever been irregular? Had anyone ever said that to her before. With that being said, we discussed how hard it is for her to breathe but we put that down as Asthma.

And then we are informed that her type of Cancer can locate to that area we will need to do another test.

I must say it killed the mood. But we thought the blood work was good. The last time she was here, everything had looked good. I guess if anything is there, it would have developed in the last few months and we will fight it or it will be nothing and you are getting doubled checked.

As we waited hours for the news so much went through our mind. As we told family the extra tests needed, you could tell they were like why, we’ve never heard of this before. Now her heart?

I must say I think I aged 10 years waiting for those results. But we got them and they were good. “Fandarntastic”!

Her next scans will be in June 2018. She will get to go the P!NK Concert Cancer FREE! Thank you Lord. Thank you for our challenges so remember how good we do have it.

“You have been assigned this mountain, so you can show others it can be moved” ~unknown