December 2015

Can you believe Christmas is almost here?

Written on Monday, December 14th @ 2:55pm

We received our Christmas Gift, Crystal not having to do any Chemo until after the holidays!

Our drive to Rochester was an interesting one. First, Crystal decided to drive, her reasons were since we are paying for the hotel room, she could at least drive. Goodness, I didn’t realize that was her thoughts until we already started driving.…

Second, it was dark out when we started on our journey. We were happy that there was no snow or ice to deal with but knew we needed to keep our eye out for deer. As we are driving a long we see that a cop has pulled someone over on the other side of the interstate and then we see a car pulled over on our side. As we both look to see what he is doing outside of his car we realize immediately why he is pulled over. He had hit a deer which was laying the middle of the road, he obviously was looking at the damage to his car. And let’s say Crystal missed hitting it but not all of it, which about made her get sick in the car. Crystal was feeling pretty nauseous for awhile after that but thankfully we didn’t hit it. I can tell you our hearts were racing like we just got done dancing.

Now we have arrived at Mayo, as we walk into the clinic that early beautiful morning in Rochester we see not one but two beautiful shiny black limos…at the same time we say…hmmm someone important is here today. We giggle and begin to look around to see if we see someone. I started thinking to myself, goodness kings & queens come here, we’ve never seen this before as many times as we come here. And then out of the blue Crystal says…”Mom, that’s how I want to arrive”. As I say, “ummm let’s just get through these tests & your wedding”! (By the way I did put this cute story on Facebook, and thank you to everyone that reached out to me that wanted to make that happen for her, I guess we can always dream. There is good in the world.)

Crystal got the hiccups that morning in the car on the way there. I stated you know you are going to get them again, she was like I know. And she did, and you know where…in the MRI Machine. The machine you have to lay still and hold your breath at certain times for…she said I used the microphone and apologized to them. lol Plus Crystal had a few new tests they wanted her to do, which we had a few funny things happen on those new tests too that made us laugh.

I did meet a mother and daughter who made the time go by fast as we visited with each other. Her daughter is a little older than me but she is fighting breast cancer. It was a blessing to chat with them. There were tears but it was nice to know that the feelings you have are all the same even tho the journey and cancer is different.

The tests got done sooner than we thought. So we decided to head to the Mall of America for a little dinner & some shopping. It was a nice break from the emotions at Mayo.

Well, the morning has arrived. The day we find out the next step. I must admit, it was very emotional one for me. As usual Rod was quiet, Gage is uplifting and looks at Crystal with such love, then there is Crystal who keeps on smiling.

As we arrive on the 10th Floor in the Gonda building we immediately recognize something new. A new smell…it was new carpet. That actually got us talking about something else instead of being quiet and keeping our thoughts to ourselves.

It is so hard to sit and wait…I keep thinking of her future, our future as a family. What is going to happen? And I can’t answer not one of those questions except we will take one day at a time.

What we have learned…

The prayers are working, the Chemo is working and Crystal’s attitude is working…We’ve learned that her tumors have shrunk and that they have not spread.

As much as we want her to do surgery to remove those cancer tumors the doctors feel it is best to keep doing what she is doing with her chemo treatments. And our gut says to trust our doctors, so that is the game plan.

Courtney and Cassidy struggled with the news when I told them. They just want her off of chemo but as I explained to them, chemo may suck but it is a blessing and is keeping those tumors at bay.

At her next Mayo appointment, if her scans look like it does at this time. She might just get to take a break from Chemo for the summer which would be perfect for her bridal showers/parties and of course the big wedding day!

As we drove home thinking of how things could of been worse I begin to think about the next day…Crystal’s day with her bridesmaids. See life goes on…

Merry Christmas to you all. You are a blessing to my family. Crystal will begin her next round of Chemo on Monday, January 4th.

Give the worry to God…Repeat…

Written on Wednesday, December 9th @ 4:00pm

What a beautiful day this Wednesday in Iowa is for the month of December. Oh Iowa weather, you never know what it’s going to be like. I guess it keeps us on our toes, it reminds us we are not in charge…

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and if you had some struggles, I sure hope you found some good in your day. Rod, Crystal’s father is an amazing cook…we are definitely thankful.

Did you all see Crystal’s interview on KWWL? WoW, 5 minutes talking about Pancreatic Cancer. What a good thing. So many of you that have been following Crystals Story were even surprised about how silent this cancer is. I am thankful that we raised awareness.

Crystal and Gage have their engagement photos back. They will be getting the “Save the Dates” done in the next month. That puts a smile on my face.

Crystal has finished up her 2nd round of Chemo at this time and is getting ready for her huge doctor appointments at Mayo starting early tomorrow morning.  Thursday, December 10th.

This week, I was enjoying a cup of coffee with Crystal. When she says to me, “Mom, I feel so good right now. You know I think the last time I felt this good was in May. Remember, I went to my appointment feeling good and then received the bad news on my birthday. I had to start Chemo and then had to have Surgery which then I had complications and then it was back to Chemo.” I was shocked. I didn’t realize how long it had been. It is crazy to think that my whole year I have been worried. And now…what will her future be? More chemo? Another surgery?

A lot of you have asked how we are doing? Well, we keep smiling, we keep busy, we keep planning and hearing from all of you, keeps us going.

I must admit, I am sick to my stomach over it. Sometimes I imagine the news we could hear. Whether it is good or bad it almost makes me feel like I am going to be sick. My stomach turns, my heart begins to race, I feel like I am going to cry…I hate the feeling so much that I am getting pretty good at changing my thought process before anyone can catch on.

Another question asked…What do we hope for?

Well, we all of course hope for a miracle. Our family, our friends, our prayer warriors all hope for the doctors to find no cancer. But at this time, we know that there are two tumors in her liver.

So we pray that there is still only two tumors. That they haven’t changed. That they haven’t spread. That the doctors have the capability to surgical remove them. We hope for surgery.

Do I want her to go through a major surgery? No. But it would be the best thing for her, for her future.

So we wait…It is so hard to wait. It is so sad to think. But I keep planning for the future, I keep doing what I think I am suppose to be doing and I do everything I can to give the worry to God.

Writing this update is an emotional one for me. I need to go find something else to do, something else to think about it. But for now, thank you again for all of your prayers, messages and stories. You have touched my life. We will know more on Crystal’s Journey on Friday, December 11th after 5:00pm.